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Now to redefine myself.
Again.
Or should I?
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But is this who I am anymore? How can I say I am this when my life and daily activity no longer reflects it? Nor does it seem it will look any other way anytime soon....
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But who am I? Surely I still am? Is this the way my life was meant to turn? Surely this is just another chapter in the bigger picture? Surely this seeming u-turn is actually what was necesary for me to really be what I was meant to be? But what if it's not? I don't want to go there, but what if I am there already?
What if I say something from where I'm at now that I would have regretted yesterday?
Does it matter?
Yes it does, if I still want to be who I plan on returning to who I was yesterday.
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If I deny yesterday's identity now, is that it? Is that the final ironic move that checkmates the old me?
So many questions.
Be real Ben.
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Saturday, June 27, 2009
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